A Facebook friend of mine, a serious dog lover, posted a Craiglist ad as her status update today, entitled, “rehoming child to new home. Need gone ASAP!!”
The ad opened with an urgent tone:
“Please help! After two long years of being on a waiting list for an exotic rare breed dog, we were finally notified by the breeder that at long last, our number has come up, and... WE'RE HAVING A PUPPY!
We must IMMEDIATELY get rid of our children now, because we just KNOW how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be! Since our puppy will be arriving on Monday, we MUST place the children in new homes this weekend!!!”
This was then followed by descriptions of the two (presumably) adorable children and dire warnings that if no takers appear, the children will be put to sleep!"
At this point, the ad counts of the fact that readers will be building a sense of outrage and indignation towards cruel people who would so callously re-home their children because of the arrival of some new puppy. What kind of horrible people would do such a thing?
Stand back and prepare to be amazed, dear reader. It turns out that this a ruse!
At the very end of the ad, the author suddenly turns the tables on the unsuspecting reader, announcing in a triumphant voice, that we, in our naivete, have been suckered.
“You wouldn't do this to a child, it's not acceptable to do to an animal! If you can't dedicate 10-15 years to a animal, don't get one. Giving an animal up should be a last resort action, based on unforeseen circumstances beyond your control or ability to change. Animals are not things to be disposed of like a toy that no longer interests your child, a hobby that takes too much time, or a family member that all the sudden is inconvenient.”
Gotcha! People aren't really giving children away, silly! Its an ad that hinges on role reversal between babies and puppies designed to call attention to the fact that plenty of new parents re-home their dogs when they have a new baby. Made you think, huh?
I’m a dog lover myself, but after reading this ad, I felt pretty sick.
The shock and gotcha tactics of this ad only work because of the absurd suggestion that parents would give away their children. Its inconceivable, impossible really, to imagine parents doing such a thing. And yet…
Parents do re-home children.
If you don’t live and breathe in adopto-land, you might never have heard about this. Re-homed children are usually international adoptees. Adoptive parents give away children to total strangers when they feel like they can’t take care of them.
International adoption, which has risen in popularity as domestic adoptions in the U.S. have declined and open adoptions have become the norm, have led to some unexpected consequences.
A series of news reports last year brought this issue to light, noting that love from adoptive parents was often not sufficient in and of itself to overcome the traumas and effects of institutionalization of internationally adopted children. These children often display aggressive and violent behavior towards their adoptive parents and create so many problems that adoptive parents throw up their hands in frustration and give the children away to whoever wants them. There are no home studies, no legal exchange of papers and the children are given to total strangers over the internet. It is buyer’s remorse of the worst kind.
Trading children over the Internet as if they’re animals puts them at great risk for exploitation and harm, a process initiated by the very people who have pledged to protect and care for them. Abandoning a child that one has made a commitment to parent cannot be an easy one, but re-homing should never be the answer.
I really do understand the point that the author of the Craiglist ad was trying to make about re-homing a dog when a new baby comes along. Its breaking a promise to care for and protect that animal during its life time. But let’s be clear here: adopting a child is very different than adopting a dog. Re-homing children is far more egregious than and re-homing a dog. It does a great injustice to conflate one with the other.
You wouldn't do this to a dog, it's not acceptable to do to a child! Gotcha!
On the practice of re-homing adopted children:
LeVine, Marianne. “Advocates for Adopted Children Decry ‘Private Re-Homing.’” Los Angeles Times, July 8, 2014. http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-senate-adoption-transfers-20140709-story.html.
Twohey, Megan. “The Child Exchange: Inside America’s Underground Market for Adopted Children.” Reuters Investigates, September 9, 2013. http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1.
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